People are always like I want you. I want you forever. I want you every day. But not me. I just want you today so I can see where we go tomorrow. And if tomorrow ever lead to a few hundred or several hundred tomorrows, I’d just want you and I wouldn’t and couldn’t count those longings by days, or weeks, or months, or years; just todays and tomorrows. Just right now and what is next. Because if I had you, if I was yours and you were mine, I wouldn’t have to put any numbers on the time that was ours. Knowing you chose me over everyone else, knowing you want me as much as I want you, knowing that time was given by some higher power specifically to invest in each other, no matter how long or short, would be enough. My god, that would always be enough.
23 year old female.
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Gaming Goddess Extraordinaire.
Fluent in real talk, sass, sarcasm, sexual innuendos, and song lyrics.
Tattoos. Zombies. EDM. Video Games. = the 4 loves of my life.
The darker, bloodier, and gorier, the better.
I'm the girl who knows how to be happy even when I'm sad.
I can fail all day long, I can get frustrated to the point I’m ready to pull my hair out, I can just have a really bad fuckin day like today, that just gets to the point I become negative towards myself in every aspect possible because nothing has gone right and just be negative about things that aren’t even relevant to anything…and here you are, knowing me well enough to let me rant it all out then just popping in when I’m cooled off like “hey, I noticed, and I care so I’m going to make you smile because that’s what you should be doing.” And then you just go back to whatever you were doing.
You sneak up on me every single time, and I feel like that’s what true friendships should be all about. You don’t have to declare some fancy terms of feeling like I should be happy instead of frustrated, you don’t need to spend 40 minutes telling me why I’m all these positive things that I clearly don’t want to hear at the time, you just pop in and do something so small and so simple, but it means so much. I’m so happy to have you in my life, you truly have no idea. If anyone ever says you are anything less than wonderful, then they’re so wrong.
Going through old posts and I remember the night I wrote this. Little things like this are what have kept me holding on so long. They are every reason why I have been so patient and understanding with you when everyone else passed judgment. Nobody knows you like I do. I will never stop finding new reasons and new ways to love you.
Let’s be honest here -
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.
I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one night stand.
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:
What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?
And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.
These men -
they think that they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
can not even be bothered
to learn your last name.”
So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:
I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.
My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake -
I will burst out and ravage you in flames.
(This isn’t a test.) Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | For All The Girls With Messy Hearts, And To The Men Whose Skin Have Tasted Mine (via surfandwrite)
People come into your life, and most of them leave again, and some are definitely harder to watch leave than others. But there’s a chance that someone will walk into your life, and that one person will make everyone else’s exit seem insignificant. They can make you smile effortlessly, and laugh just the same. They give you a reason to believe in so many things you never thought existed. They fill parts of you that you thought would never be whole again. They become your person. The person you tell all the random details of your day, all the things that upset you and all the things that anger you. All the little things that make you bounce with excitement and make you giddy. You share all the little and tender details of your life because you trust them. And you know that no matter what, they’re always going to accept you entirely for who you are. All your flaws, all your quirks and all your questionable qualities. And despite all the good they come with, they’re also the person who can drive you nuts, who can make you roll your eyes and scoff. The person who pinches your last nerve. But even when you want to stay mad and get angry, you choose them. You choose them every single day. Because whatever bad they could possibly bring to the table, it’s nothing compared to what you’d have without them in your life. You would rather smile, laugh, argue, cherish, or be mad at them and with them than anyone else because there’s something about them you want to hold on to no matter what.
He’s my person.